It’s been weeks now since all over twitter and forums they are those who have a problem with valentine’s day voicing their opinions along the lines of how terrible it is to have a forced day, such a commercial day telling one how to be romantic. Yes…I can understand that point of view and even see how this cheesy-romance is over played in the shops and all over the internet.
I sympathise with all singletons who would rather wake up a day after valentine having been spared this couples-only day…a twitter mentioned a foodie party they were attending that actually sounded like fun, titled “I hate Valentines”…I considered ditching Bikerboy for 10 seconds in order to attend…well…it was a foodie party afterall…ok it was only the briefest of considerations.
This morning I heard the mums at the school gate while picking up the 3 year old commenting, “…no..we’re not doing anything. I told him not to get me anything, it’s all too much, what’s the point?” which was met with, “No..we’re not celebrating it either..I said I didn’t want any flowers, they’re so expensive..you see all these men looking at flowers in the shops today…well..they’re only after one thing anyway…” The dislike and resentment for this day crosses both sexes it appears.
Speaking as a woman it does make me wonder however if these woman would really reject some flowers or a card with a heartfelt message inside from the man in their lives? I mean…really? Would the dislike for this day be so strongly felt these women would stamp on the bunch of flowers as soon as he walked through the door clutching that bunch like a baby so not to damage it? Would they really rip the card unopened? Or read the card with a personal message of appreciation and love and have the nerve to laugh in their man’s face? Hmmm…I doubt it.
Yes, women do say things like, “..don’t bother with any flowers or cards…or chocolate, I’m on a diet!” But that very woman will also be the one who’s full of glee when she next meets up with her girlfriends and tells the story, “Well..I told him not to bother, it’s so commercial and everything so over-priced…but then he surprised me and had ordered these beautiful bouquet of flowers, not red roses…because he knows I don’t like them…he got my favourite flowers..cala lilies and found a photo of ours which he stuck on a card and wrote a lovely message…I really wasn’t expecting it!”
I think the problem is expectation…women do like to be surprised…men hate to be told what to do. It’s really not a good day for either of those.
Commercialisation is the big criticism of today and it’s true. Commercialisation is also a big part of Christmas but that does not stop us from buying the kids presents or each other a token. Father and Mother’s day is also another commercial inspired day by the card companies and shops but I’m yet to meet a mother or father who hates receiving a card form their child written in their handwriting with a little drawing and sealed with a kiss.
Commercialisation even extends to our birthdays but heck most of us would be deeply disappointed if no one acknowledged our birthday.
Where do we stand? Well, we need all the help we can get with romance. When you’re working six days a week like Bikerboy is and we’re raising a young family that sucks so much energy out of you, we need the sledge hammer over our heads to force us to think of each other for five minutes, if only while deciding what special meal to cook, or while picking his favourite chocolates.
Once the kids are off our hands and we have choices about what we would like to do together on a weekly basis then maybe then we’ll choose to ignore the day but for now we need to make the effort for some us time.
We won’t eat out today because I hate the set up of restaurants forcing you to choose from a set menu and the first and last time we did go out on the day the service was so appalling we made the decision not to repeat the experience. I’ll cook something nice that Bikerboy likes, then we’ll go out to a restaurant of my choice at the weekend.
We’ll exchange cards and more likely than not Bikerboy will give me flowers…even though I say “Don’t get me flowers…they’re so expensive!” but it’s his choice and that’s what he wants to do…I shan’t stamp on them when he walks through the door!
This post is for Bikerboy, for us to remember and hopefully plan again one day another bike trip like we did when traveling through Northern France and ended up in the beautiful town of Barneville Carteret, our dream retirement town….or maybe just another ski trip, where he’ll be patient with me on the nursery slope in order for me to gain my confidence back so we can ski to the little hut on the ski slope serving hot chocolate.
And here’s to that holiday we always talk about of hiring a little boat and sailing around the Mediterranean sea. Happy Valentine’s Day My Bikerboy x
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post. Enjoy your flowers and dreams.
Debs, x
You too, my lovely…here’s to a great Valentine’s for next year! x
Great post, you conitnue to amaze with the photos.
thank you Jeff.
this is a lovely post! I hope your day was nice.
thanks Foodycat – a quite evening with a lovely meal.
My husband and I often out to a restaurant on the 15th-they are all empty then and the food is much cheaper. Haha! This year I cooked him all his favourite foods and we were content. Thanks for a thoughtful post.